Cheers to the Weekend…

Sigh…this has been one LONG week!  But, I am glad I made it through it in one piece!  And I completed Week 5 of my running program!!  WooHoo…Cheers to the Weekend…

Blessed…truly blessed…

Weekend went well.  I didn’t do much school work, but I sent out and responded to  a great deal of emails, scheduled a bunch of meetings and watched some great football.  Yup, that about sums up my weekend…emails…football…and meetings.

Work today, wasn’t so bad.  My boss was actually out sick, so it was pretty chill in the office.  I have a ton of reading to get through tonight for tomorrow’s classes…but I’m up for the challenge.

I had a brief moment of despair on Friday…but a nice relaxing weekend has helped me begin to realize I am truly blessed.  I just have to keep remembering that fact…even on the really bad days.  I am blessed and lucky to have the life that I have…

Rain, rain…go away…

I woke up early this morning to the pidder, padder of rain drops on my window.  In fact, it rained all weekend and yesterday.  The rain pretty much kept me indoors this past weekend, however I did have the opportunity to hangout with a really great friend who just had a baby.  She’s a single mom (by choice) and one of my biggest mentors, role models and supporters.  And her child, is just as beautiful as I thought she would be.

In the past, I have wanted to be an adoptive parent to an infant son or daughter as I really have no desire to give birth to a child.  However, I realized (during my time with my friend and her newborn) that I really have no maternal desires at all, at least not right now.  I enjoyed playing with the child, feeding her, burping her, changing diapers and most of all holding her…but I was very relieved to hand the child back over to her mother.

For some reason, I thought maybe being around this beautiful newborn would make me want to have one of my own and sadly, it did not.  It’s official, my biological clock is broken…

Who knows…maybe when it is all said and done I’ll have two or three kids…maybe I should start with a dog…

Interesting weekend…

This was a very interesting weekend…I had so many events planned for my mother’s visit…a dinner party with friends…shopping…sightseeing…and just having an all around good time.  However, I ended up being a really bad hostess.

This mess and blessing of a weekend started on Wednesday/Thursday.  Long story short…I ended up having to take a trip up north on Friday (road trip 3.5-4hrs one-way) for a school event that I had not planned on attending because my mother was going to be town.  As the president of a school organization, it fell on me to attend as everyone else could not attend and the person who offered to host this event dropped out the week before the event…and instead of canceling…I decided to make the trip…next time I’m going to just cancel because the road trip ended up ruining my planned weekend.

My mother’s flight also came in on Friday evening…so I had to do a turn around trip (eight hours of driving in one day).  Friday evening with my mother was a wash…I was so tired…but excited to see her.  I had not seen her since June.  We talk frequently (everyday/every other day)…but seeing someone in person is definitely different then just talking to them on the phone.  We stayed up late…talked and caught up on life…school and upcoming family events.

Saturday we were supposed to go shopping…catch a movie…then come home and prepare for my dinner party.  I ended up canceling my dinner party…taking my mother (who wasn’t feeling well…and neither was I) out to dinner and doing a little shopping.  I was really looking forward to my mother meeting my friends and vice versa, but I was so exhausted from Friday that I slept most of Saturday and had no energy to clean, cook or entertain.  Saturday, ended with another great conversation of talking and catching up.

This weekend, I realized how important my family, more specifically my mother means to me.  She even brought me my Christmas presents, bless her heart.  I also realized that I always do too much.  Instead of just enjoying my mother’s visit, I had to plan a dinner party and instead of canceling an event, I drove eight hours out of my way to make it happen.

What’s wrong with me?  I really need my Over Achieving, Type A self to sit down and chill out next year!  Another resolution!!

Cleaning House….

So far, this weekend has been pretty low-key.  Unfortunately, I didn’t make it to the day spa today because the weather was horrendous and my co-worker was ill …maybe next weekend…I hope.

Speaking of next weekend…I have family coming into town then too…so I need to do a thorough, deep cleaning today and tomorrow.   I’ve been so busy with my final papers, projects and presentations, that I sort of neglected my household chores…my poor home…I’m sorry…thank goodness it is just me., right?

Today, was the first time in a long time (couple of months) that I had free time to talk on the phone and catch up with my friends.  Funny thing…I really did not want to call anyone.  I know that sounds horrible…but I’m learning to deal with my loneliness constructively.  I’m learning not to be so dependent on other beings or have such high expectations for the people I call friends.

I’m learning that everyone cannot and will not be my best friend and I theirs.  I’m learning that I need school friends…work friends…gym friends…social friends (girls/guys to go to bars, lounges, comedy shows, plays and dinner with)…book club friends…old friends (although I’m realizing I don’t really care for many of them now either)…new friends…neighborhood friends…long distance friends and best friends…

Another resolution for next year…must find a bunch of people (new friends) that can meet my needs as I have identified them…

When I was younger…I used to think I could find all of those qualities in one person.  As I’ve gotten older, I have come to realize that one person cannot fulfill all of those needs…and if they do…you are one lucky person.

Honestly, I feel like I should not be rethinking my friendships at this point in my life…but I am.  Is this normal?  Why do I not feel secure in my basic friendships with old friends?  Actually, I know the reasons to the last question and I’ll talk more about them in later blogs.

But I just wanted to know…is this normal?