So……I have had an interesting week, to say the least, but I wanted to share an epiphany I unearthed. I was talking to one of my girlfriends and she asked me how my ex-boyfriend was doing. I paused and thought about it as I had not seen him since the Holiday Season. I sort of stuttered “He’s doing okay, at least the last time I saw him, he looked good.” Our conversation continued, but for some strange reason, I could not help but feel guilty about not really knowing how he was doing.
To remedy that strange feeling, I gave my ex a call. He answered and we exchanged pleasantries for a couple of minutes. Then the interrogation began. He asked me about work, school and my love life; the latter caught me off guard. To be honest, I really have been focusing on myself, work and school…so I told him as much. Apparently, he had just gotten out of a long distance relationship. REALLY!?!? Funny thing, I did not really care. Good for him! However, when he mentioned he had traveled, out-of-state, twice to see her in a six month period, I felt a little disrespected.
You see, I was with my ex for a little over a year and he was anti-taking public transportation to come see me. So, I always had to go to him. Yup, that’s right…he had no car as he was a broke, grad student…I guess I was going through a phase…but I digress. Somehow, this new girl was able to get him to not only leave the state, but he got on a plane and paid for it…not once, but twice!! I was impressed and again, I told him as much.
Hence, my epiphany…basically, you cannot make someone do something they do not want to do. Ergo…all the begging, pleading and asking will not change anything, if the other person is not invested and/or care. I know this is common sense..but DAMN…it took me talking to my Ex about his last relationship for me to realize this. Shaking My Head (SMH)…what a shame! However, this epiphany is so timely, as I am trying to figure out what to do with the guy that has me Chasing Pavements.
But wait…I heard this Bonnie Raitt song at the dentist’s office this morning and it solidified my epiphany! Sigh…
