Never Would Have Made It…

In a yucky kind of mood right now…but this song always makes me feel better…

Wait…I Was Trying to Be Funny….

Yikes…so I just did something that I probably should not have done.  But I really wanted to do it.  And you know what…I do not care.  Hmmm, I take that back, I do care.  I care almost too much.  I sent a mean text to someone I should not have.  Really, I was trying to be funny, but the recipient apparently does not share my sense of humor.  Oh, well, lesson learned.

Ummm…seriously…

So…I believe I am truly, madly, deeply over my graduate program, advisor and qualifying (quals) exams chair.  I just had one of the worst meetings of my life.  I do not know what to do.  I know a change is in order; however I really do not know what to do.  Do I change advisors and quals committee and start anew?  Or do I suck it up and keep on going?  I am beyond confused, sad and dismayed at this moment.  Luckily, one of my BFFs is coming over tomorrow night so I’ll get to debrief with her and get a fresh perspective.  Sigh…

Missing in Action….

Yes, I know…I have been MIA for a while…but I am back.  Honestly, I wish I could say I was doing an amazing thing, like traveling the world or working with the earthquake survivors in Haiti however, I have just been swamped with work, school and life events.  Long story short…I got back together with the older gentleman I was dating a while back.  Things were going well for a while, but now I am in a very uncomfortable situation and I do not know how to get out of it.  Don’t get me wrong, I love him…God knows I love him…I just don’t like him most of the time.  I don’t like how he behaves or how he talks to me sometimes.  I’m starting to feel like he is taking me and our relationship for granted and I am not happy about it.  I’ve even started communicating with the ex I was begging to stop emailing me…not a good sign…I know.  God…when it rains it really pours…as school and work have really been kicking my butt lately.  Sigh, I need a vacation…a real like two to three-week, tropical adventure with no cell phone or laptop.  But with all of that said…I am really lucky…I have my health, family, a job, good friends and a home.  So thank you for reading…but I really need to just stop complaining and just get it together.

Over it…Again…

This is a repost…but it is so relevant to what’s going on in my life right now…

I realized today, that I have a problem with saying NO!  I really need to try to work on this, as it has contributed to my feelings of being stressed, tired, overwhelmed and underappreciated.

I need to learn to take a more passive role sometimes.  I do not always have to be the leader, president, coördinator or committee chair.  Sometimes, I can should just be a member, so I can come and go as I please, like everyone else.

Being the president of any organization full of people, you do not care for or think highly of, can be and is very challenging.  I feel like every idea or activity I propose, someone is there, looming in the corner to undermine me or interject some negative comment.

I just don’t understand why some people choose to be in organizations…when they know all they want is another notch on their resumé or CV or control…most of the people who are serving in this organization claim they are too busy, overwhelmed or just not interested…again I ask you…why did you volunteer to be on this board?  And why would you get upset about tasks being completed, that you were supposed to do and did not do.  I’m so over it…sometimes, it is better to know when to step aside or let things go.

The time is now…I’m ready to let things go so I can begin to focus on myself…