Yup, that is right! My blog name has changed and I feel really good about that. Over the past couple of months, I have come to realize that happiness is a constant state, one has to work at diligently to achieve.
And God knows, I have been putting in work these last couple of months. Focusing on myself, my faith and my health has really helped me in turning the corner. Also, it doesn’t hurt that I am getting more attention from the opposite sex these days (but that is for another post).
I don’t know…I just feel differently right now and for that I am grateful!
So……I have had an interesting week, to say the least, but I wanted to share an epiphany I unearthed. I was talking to one of my girlfriends and she asked me how my ex-boyfriend was doing. I paused and thought about it as I had not seen him since the Holiday Season. I sort of stuttered “He’s doing okay, at least the last time I saw him, he looked good.” Our conversation continued, but for some strange reason, I could not help but feel guilty about not really knowing how he was doing.
To remedy that strange feeling, I gave my ex a call. He answered and we exchanged pleasantries for a couple of minutes. Then the interrogation began. He asked me about work, school and my love life; the latter caught me off guard. To be honest, I really have been focusing on myself, work and school…so I told him as much. Apparently, he had just gotten out of a long distance relationship. REALLY!?!? Funny thing, I did not really care. Good for him! However, when he mentioned he had traveled, out-of-state, twice to see her in a six month period, I felt a little disrespected.
You see, I was with my ex for a little over a year and he was anti-taking public transportation to come see me. So, I always had to go to him. Yup, that’s right…he had no car as he was a broke, grad student…I guess I was going through a phase…but I digress. Somehow, this new girl was able to get him to not only leave the state, but he got on a plane and paid for it…not once, but twice!! I was impressed and again, I told him as much.
Hence, my epiphany…basically, you cannot make someone do something they do not want to do. Ergo…all the begging, pleading and asking will not change anything, if the other person is not invested and/or care. I know this is common sense..but DAMN…it took me talking to my Ex about his last relationship for me to realize this. Shaking My Head (SMH)…what a shame! However, this epiphany is so timely, as I am trying to figure out what to do with the guy that has me Chasing Pavements.
But wait…I heard this Bonnie Raitt song at the dentist’s office this morning and it solidified my epiphany! Sigh…
During my birthday weekend a couple of months ago, I had the pleasure of ringing in the big 30 with a number of my new and old friends! On one night in particular; a friend and I were reminiscing about our college days…Yikes! I was not the nicest person in college; however I digress.
My friend brought up a Spring Break trip a group of us had taken during our last year in college. The trip was your typical Girls Gone Wild type of adventure with a bunch of college girls crammed into a small hotel room. It was not how I envisioned spending my last Spring Break in college. All of the drinking, smoking, and club hopping…just was not my idea of a good, relaxing time. Basically, I was having a miserable time and called one of my best friends to vent about it. I guess I must have sounded so sad because before I knew it, my BFF offered to come and pick me up. After she got off of work and drove about six to seven hours at night to our Spring Break destination. By the time she arrived, I was already packed and ready to go! I thanked her immensely as there was no way I was going to survive a week in that hellhole.
I’m retelling this story, because I realized that I have had a lot of really GREAT friends in my life! But I felt so bad that I had totally forgotten about that trip and had lost touch with my old BFF. She was my best friend in junior high, high school and during my college years. Growing up, we did everything together. Her family was like my second family and her mother, like a second mother to me. Over the years, our lives have gone in two different directions. She is married (now separated and heading for a divorce), mother of two and I stayed the course with school, work and now graduate school. However, we recently began talking again on Facebook of all places and I was sad to learn she was having such a hard time. I’m hoping to spend some time with her when I go home for the Christmas Holiday.
I was reminded this past weekend that friends, and by that I mean really good friends, are hard to come by. And that I should be very thankful for the life that I have….sometimes it is easy to forget that.
“A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often – just to save it from drying out completely“. – Pam Brown
Time and distance are wonderful things. They actually make you start to realize the people you can and cannot live with or without. I realized this week, that while I needed to distance myself from a few people (for a bit of time)…you cannot cut yourself from the world and your friends permanently. This past week, has been great!! And I could not have gotten through it without my friends (and family)!! Especially, the friend I blogged about a couple of weeks ago. At the end of the day, I LOVE her like a sister…and God knows, my sister and I do not always see eye to eye on things.
While people definitely get on my nerves from time to time; using this space as an outlet is much better and more responsible than confronting individuals every time I get upset or offended by something. Hell, I know I am not the easiest person to deal with; however I am a good person. I guess that is something that I have to remember about everyone else. That deep down inside, they are all good people…even when they annoy the HELL out of me or piss me off!
