In a yucky kind of mood right now…but this song always makes me feel better…
Looking Towards 2012…
During this holiday break, I have had a chance to re-examine my blog and while I have been very honest with my feelings and thoughts…I have also spent a great deal of time being negative and dwelling on the past.
One of my goals for 2012 is to be more positive and have a more optimistic outlook on life. I know I cannot run from my past…but I can learn from it and change my destructive ways, nasty habits and patterns.
I have many goals, hopes and dreams for 2012. I really need to focus on myself (mind, body and soul), get organized and financially fit.
I’m sure I have yet to say it…but 2011 was a great year for me…I learned a lot about myself and the people around me. And I looking forward to continuing that growth process in 2012…
Coming into My Own…
So…I recently had a birthday and am no longer almost 30…I am 30! And I have to say, that I am not unhappy either. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments from time to time; however for the most part, I’m relatively happy these days. And it sort of happened overnight. I woke up one day and realized I needed to make a few changes in my life. I’m trying to be a little more social and proactive…eating right and exercising more…and doing my best to be more present. And by no means has this been easy…it has taken me YEARS to get to this point.
I know that I have a long road ahead of me…however I’m optimistic about it and looking forward to the future…
Weekly Update…
As I reflect on the past seven days, I have to admit, I have had one incredible week. I kicked it off with a lovely brunch with my BFF (who was in town visiting), her family and friends. It was an enlightening meal and I got a glimpse of what true friendship looks like 40-50 years down the road. I can only hope and pray to God that in 40 years, I’ll be able to celebrate my 68th birthday surrounded by my family and best friends.
The week proceeded with a great deal of school work (papers, projects and presentations). At the moment, I’m still working on one last paper and a few last-minute projects for school and have a ton of paperwork piling up on my desk at work; but somehow I’ll get through it.
Funny thing, the “ex” has stopped emailing me. Granted, it has only been a week, but a week without any contact from him, is a step in the right direction. And I have to be honest; once I stopped fighting him; things have sort of died down and he’s lost interest. Yay!!
I talk to “the perfect guy” like everyday, whether it is via email, phone or text. I think he and I are destined to be life long friends, not lovers, just friends. Which I’m perfectly okay with me. I think every woman needs a good group of male friends to hangout with and confide in. But with everything, I am taking it one day at a time.
And finally, so I really have mixed feelings for the gentleman I am seeing at the moment. I feel he wants to take things to the next level and I’m afraid, it is too much too soon. I have a great deal of trepidation and concern about entering a relationship (of any kind) with him (because I need more time to really get to know him), however I also don’t want to let my own fear get in the way of something that could be special.
Going into this week, I have a great deal on my plate; however everything will get down in due time. I need to clean and organize my home as I am hosting a get together this week and I also need to get ready for upcoming changes at school. Here’s hoping I have another great week with more time to blog and respond!
She shoots and she scores!!
So, I did it! I sent him another email and inquired about his weekend plans and suggested he call or email me if he wasn’t busy. And what do you know, he called me immediately after receiving my email (which I sent in the morning); however I had already left for work, so I missed his call. He followed up his phone call with an email. I received his email at work and was giddy! I couldn’t wait to get home and check my voicemail.
I had such a positive day with good interactions with everyone I encountered. The day ended in my hair stylist’s chair as I needed to get my hair done, because it looked a hot mess!! I felt like I was at the salon forever, even though it was only two hours and I couldn’t wait to get home; however I finally made it.
Once I entered my home, I checked my messages and there was his message, YAY!! I called him back, but he was unavailable, so I left a message and went downstairs to warm up my dinner. As I was placing my orange chicken in the microwave, the phone rang…and it was him. So many thoughts ran through my mind, do I answer…what are we going to talk about…what if he isn’t feeling me and just being polite, why did I send him that email? Eventually, I answered the phone…and…
We ended up talking for about five plus hours. We talked about any and everything, he’s a little lot older than I thought, but age isn’t anything but a number, right?. It was so refreshing to have a conversation with a real man, an educated man, a black man! We probably could have talked forever; however I was so exhausted and had to end our conversation, but not before we made plans to see each other tonight.
Yup, that’s right, I have a date tonight (dinner and a movie)!! I’m so excited and I just can’t hide it! Hopefully, we have just as much chemistry on our date as we did on the phone last night! And I can say without a doubt, he’s totally into me…
