First let me apologize for my long absence. The last month has been very hectic, exciting, trying and exhausting. At the moment, I felt like I really needed to write on my blog, even though I’m at school and should really be working on a paper that is due tomorrow…
So, let me backup and start from where I left off…so the “ex” and I are still communicating. Don’t ask me why, because honestly, I don’t have an answer for you. For some reason, he has done everything in his power to keep the lines of communication between the two of us open. I take that back, he’s done everything in his power via email, to keep the lines of communication between the two of us open. Funny thing is, I really don’t care anymore. I told him repeatedly to stop emailing and texting and he’d stop for a short period of time and then continued, like nothing had happened. Last November, I’d finally had enough and ceased all communication with him, that lasted like a month and a half and then I began receiving random forwards from him again. At first, I ignored his emails, blocked his email address, sent his emails to spam, but the emails kept coming. Again, I asked him to stop! However, for some reason now he wants to be my friend…he wants updates on my life…wants to go out to dinner and catch up! Whoa…hold on there, why now? Why do you care all of a sudden? Answer, really, he had no answer, but this is what I hypothesized…he lost his job a while back and has a lot of time on his hands…and what are idle hands supposed do? I hate to kick a man while he’s down, although he seems to have taken his new unemployment status very well. Needless to say, I have resigned myself to not stress out about him. I’m not thinking about us getting back together, because honestly, he’s not good enough for me and we are in two different places right now. He’s not a leader, cannot provide for or protect me (I’ll come back to these three things in another blog later). He’s just not the man who I want and need. However, if the idea of us being friends gives him peace at night, who am I to take that away from him; even though I know the truth…we are not friends now or will ever be again…
Sigh…yet another man from my past has re-entered my life. This time it’s all my fault. I caught myself trying to do a nice deed for one of my co-workers and now I’m regretting even contacting him. I know I’ve mentioned him before, he’s the “Perfect Guy” in my And then there were none blog. Basically, we’ve been on and off friends throughout the years and most recently, he just stopped talking to me out of the blue for no reason two years ago. I was shocked and caught off guard, seeing that I had just helped him through a pretty bad breakup and listened to his endless stories at random hours of the night, but whatever. One of my co-workers needed help and I knew he was the man who could help. So, I had one of my friends send him my contact info, because I no longer had his current information. It took him about a week, but he did email me and to no one’s fault but my own; we picked up right back where we left off. However, this time, I let him know, just how much of a jerk he had been the last time we were in contact with one another. Long story short, we started emailing each other over 10-20 times a day…nothing serious…just back and forth banter…until yesterday. Basically, he thought we were cooler than we really were. He and I are not friends, we don’t talk on a regular basis, we don’t hang out, however, I know that…he apparently did not! He was living in some wonderland where he and I were friends and he knew all about me. He made an assumption about me that was completely incorrect…however he made the mistake of saying it out loud…I quickly checked him and told him we should limit out email communication. I doubt that I will hear from him again, because I think I hurt his feelings, but whatever, I’m tired of letting people say and do things to me that are wrong. And in all honesty, again, he and I are not friends now or will ever be in the future…
Sigh…remember the older man I went out with a couple of weeks ago? Well, he’s still in the picture. He apologized for his inappropriateness and really wants to spend time with me; however, I am still unsure about him. Talking to him is like talking to a philosophy professor; he’s so theoretical and intelligent. It’s hard to have a normal conversation with him. I’ve learned a great deal about his past life, his kids (oh yeah, did I mention he has two GROWN children) and current research interests, but I really don’t know anything about him and vice versa. I think we are both playing it very tight (I don’t know about him but I am in no mood to get hurt again). He’s been wanting to go out again or grab a cup of coffee and I’ve been putting him off with being busy with school or work. I do enjoy his company; however I hate the fact that he doesn’t drive! He’s not the first man I’ve dated who didn’t drive, but it kind of puts a damper on things. I want to be picked up and dropped off, hell, I want to get a little tipsy at dinner too, but I can’t because, you guessed it…I’m driving. All in all, I’ll probably keep him around, because unlike the other two, I really would like to be his friend, if nothing else. And he’s making plans for us to do things in the upcoming months…I think he wants to be in a relationship with me…Oh My! I haven’t been in one of those in a long time…but only time will tell…
Guess who just sent me a text message…the “Perfect Guy” and I thought I’d never hear from him again after yesterday…go figure! MEN!
